On Friday, I shall be fulfilling TWO long-held ambitions: to become a writer in residence and to have a beach hut. Sadly, both only last for an afternoon, which is not so much a residency as an afternoon visit, and the beach hut won’t actually be on the beach but in Kirkcudbright town centre, but hey, let’s not get picky here.

I know have to think about what to do with my short residency. Hopefully people will come and say hello because otherwise I’ll have to spend two hours maintaining my unthreatening and friendly but not in any way desperate writer’s expression as last practised during my one and only bookshop signing event. I will almost definitely have brought the means of making (or at least keeping hot) some coffee because it might just lure people in (cakes, while tempting, might smack of desperation). Does coffee with a writer sound…